Something fishy goin on

Before the McDonald’s fillet-o-fish sandwich existed, it was the government and ‘keep your hands on the car’ contests that were killing poor people. However recently, rumors are beginning to spread like wildfire that McDonald’s Fillet-o-fish is the new way the world is culling its population. 100% of individuals who have been eating fillet o fishes are suffering from life threatening conditions such as death. Recent prospective studies have surfaced a shocking discovery, finding that at least 90% of passengers on the lost Malaysian flight in 2014, victims of every national tragedy involving guns and even Batman’s parents had eaten McDonald’s fillet-o-fishes at some point in time during their lifetimes. Obviously correlation does not equal causation but facts are facts and this does remain a point of contention. If all that could happen to those people then what could happen to us if we devour one of these things?

“Something fishy is definitely going on here” states the guy writing this article after eating a fillet-O-fish at 11:44pm, “ because the sandwiches come in square form. What type of fish you know that swim shaped like a SQAURE? It looks like a deep fried floppy disk and just like floppy disks, it is a detriment to your operating system.”

If we can get enough people behind our cause, we should be able to get the government to reveal to us why the fillet o fish was created and what purpose it serves. They’ve already revealed to us that aliens exist, but that was just a distraction, TELL US ABOUT THE FLOPPY DISK SEAFOOD SANDWICHES DAMNIT, THE PEOPLE NEED ANSWERS

Write letters to your senators, rally your friends and loved ones, do YOUR part in helping to fight fillet-O-fish induced mortality.